Lend me your ears...

Well its been a while since I've wrote anything. So I guess I can get you caught up to date on my life...because its SO fascinating and you are all just dying to know what I do! 

ANYWAYS, I am now on anti-depressants, thats new...so of course when I get medicine I do extensive research and am fully aware of all the side-effects, even the most rare. Part of me is glad to know these side-effects because I will be aware of them if they happen to crop up, the other part of me freaks out every time I get a headache like OH FUCK MY BRAIN IS IMPLODING. THE PROZAC!!! So thats not good. However I did realize that taking it at night is NOT an option for me, because it fucks with my sleep schedule like none other and if you know me at all you know that I love sleep. Sleep is number one on the things I love...followed closely by food. 

Okay so now on to this little thingy-ma-bob that Jess tagged me in. 

Here's the rules...

1. List 6 things you are a master in...

2. Pass it on to 6 bloggers you think are masters of friendship, and make blogging so awesome. (That sounds like someone pulled that straight out of their ass..."masters of friendship" give me a BREAK...couldn't it just say "tag 6 people to do this" and plus I don't know 6 bloggers so I won't be tagging anyone...I'm just a bucket of sunshine today huh?)

OKAY 6 THINGS I'M A MASTER IN...other than breaking hearts and taking names. Just kidding...or am I?!

1. I like to think I'm a master in video games from my childhood. Notice how I said CHILDHOOD...I suck at modern video games. HOWEVER, I kick ass in games like Mario and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...and one of my favorites Sonic. So yes video games like that I am a master! Or video games similar to those such as Spyro and Crash Bandicoot...and Jak and Daxter (except that game was hard as SHIT).

2. I'm a master of cuddling. Especially if the other party is a cat. I cuddle my cat like it's my job. Wouldn't that be awesome? To get paid to cuddle a cat.

3. And leading directly from cuddling...sleeping. I am THE master at sleeping. Not just A master...THE master. I could sleep ALL damn day. Here's how much I am a master, if I get less than 9 hours of sleep I'm a cranky mess. On a normal night I get at least 10 hours. I've slept so much of my life away and I don't even care.

4. Wouldn't it be clever if I said "Not completing things" and stopping it here...ah such the cheap way out...and I'm not one to not complete things so that would be a lie.

I am literally looking around my room at stuff thinking...what am I a 'master' in...this is sooooo sad.

Real number 4. Kristen Stewart at the end of "Twilight" impression. It took practice and patience and watching my friend Kim do it multiple times. But I've perfected it and according to my pseudo little brother Tyler it's "oscar worthy". Ask for it sometime, its worth a laugh, but then again so is Kristen Stewart.

5. Singing in my car. Yes I can be a master in that, don't question my choices. It takes skill to sing in your car with the exuberance that I do, having that kind of performance and driving a car without dying is one of the most skillful assets a person can possess. 

6. Getting distracted on the internet. I love this new toolbar I downloaded called StumbleUpon...you click "stumble" and it takes you to some random website based on interests you enter. It's horrible addicting. Please don't download it, it'll ruin you. I just spent like 30 minutes "stumbling" instead of writing this.

That's all folks, I can't do it anymore, my brain hurts. I'm really not a master in anything so these were me taking small talents and pretending I'm a master. I'm a master at pretending. Tomorrow I shall find a quiz that's so basic it'll make your brain explode from the boring-ness. Yes that's a word. 

Peace out girl scout. 

Past couple of days...

Where to start? Oh yes I have 2 days off! Monday (today) and tomorrow so thats always good. Anyways on sunday I had agreed to hang out with a old college friend Dane because he lives near lakewood and I haven't seen him in ages. 

So we met up at Chili's and had a margarita and I got my love (CAJUN CHICKEN PASTA) I could eat that stuff everyday if I could afford it. Anyways we caught up, talked about life and such, then we decided we still wanted to hang out so where better to go then Holiday Lanes on Colfax and Kipling. The most ghetto bowling alley on the earth. So away we go to meet Dane's friend Andy and Andy's girlfriend Laura. It was a lot of fun except I suck at bowling but let's be honest that makes its MORE fun. I had a great time and got to talk to Andy about his brother who lives in LA doing acting. That's the latest I've stayed out in a long time because usually at night I kinda just sit inside and read. 

Well today, I expected myself to sleep till noon then take my mom to work at 1:30 cuz Art was out with her car. But alas, the phone woke me up at 10:15 so I got to eat taco bell which I've also been craving (why am I not 4000 pounds?!). Well I took my dogs with me cuz they love to go 'bye bye'. Zeus barked at the drive-thru guy. GOOOD times. Then Art got home early so I asked Stacey if she wanted to come along while I ran some errands. I had to go pick up my tips at the car wash and go get some spot treatment for acne that I read about. Well I got the tips then we decided to go into the Vietnamese supermarket by the car wash because I've always been curious about what's in there. So we went in and the first thing I see is a GIANT FAMILY SIZE PACK OF.....KOALA YUMMIES. Only in this case they were pandas but it was the exact same thing. Biggest box I've EVER seen...for 5 dollars. I didn't get it but now I know where to find them! Not sure if anyone else ate these as a kid...I miss them.

This is a picture of the strawberry ones but the chocolate ones were the best! OH MAN!

Well we continued to look around because it was interesting and we kept getting weird looks because we were the ONLY white people in the place. We found aloe water which had like floaties in it. GROSS. And then we also found like 2 aisles devoted to ramen like products. We finally decided to leave when we had the feeling the employees were following us.

Then we headed to Ulta. Where I found the spot treatment stuff but it was 12 bucks and I didn't want to take the chance that it wouldn't work so I skipped that and we spent like an hour sniffing perfumes. I decided to head to Target and just get a cheap spot treatment then I could buy myself something pretty in the mall, and maybe some peanut butter chocolate covered pretzels from whole foods (if you haven't tried these I HIGHLY suggest that you do, your life will never be the same)

SPOT TREATMENT BOUGHT. 5 bucks! ALL RIGHT! That's what I'm talking about. Then we head out into the mall and go into Forever 21...oh my I love Forever 21. I see a very pretty floral dressy thing in the window but couldn't find it in the store so I gave up and kept walking. Then we stopped and looked at the ripoff sunglasses booth and the lady would not stop following me and suggesting sunglasses. Then my step-dad called and pointed out that it was nearly 4 so I freaked out and thought it was time to go but I stopped in Forever 21 on the way back because I couldn't let this cute thing pass me by. It's totally not my style but its so springy and cute...and it was only $17.80 so I gave in and bought it! I lovvvvveeeeee it!

Please ignore my DISGUSTING room...Isn't this precious...meh I love it. 

Here is a close-up of the top with the flower's. YAY love it.

Anyways then I went to therapy and blah blah blah! END OF DAY!

Now I shall read my book and watch Sex and the City!

Alice in mehhhhh

I'm about to kill everyone's opinion of this movie. I have heard that it was either VERY GOOD or VERY BAD. However, I don't want to take either of those sides. I rate it 'Meh' I got bored to be honest. I didn't find it good at all. The girl who played Alice was simplistic and lovely. Johnny Depp was horrid, there I said it...off with my head?...I just didn't see him doing anything differently than he has done in ALL his other movies with Burton.

I am glad that Burton chose to mix Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass...other than that I felt it was just sooooo Burton...dark...I'm beginning to feel like thats all he can do, but hey if it gets him the fans and the money then I guess thats what he wants?

Well...I'll talk positive because my therapist tells me I'm too negative. SO! Alan Rickman as the voice of the caterpillar was genius. The flashback to Alice as a girl was wonderful. And uhmm...THE CLOTHES! Alice's dresses literally made me squeal at points. I want to make the red one! OH GOD IT WAS GREAT.

But overall, didn't enjoy the movie, glad I didn't waste the money to see it.

I was hoping for more, from Johnny Depp especially, he's been going downhill in my opinion for a while with his "Burton characters" so I was hoping he would prove me wrong, he didn't. Sad day.

Oh and why did both the Mad Hatter and the Red Queen have lisps? I found that annoying. Like Burton was trying to make them unique but instead they came off just dumb.

But yes, honestly the clothes made it all worth it.

Anxiety

I couldn't find any get to know me quizzes that had any good answers. So I was just reading a book I got from the library. It's called The Punch: A Novel by Noah Hawley. It's about an alcoholic mother and her 2 sons that travel across the country to take their fathers ashes to their final resting place. Well I'm not very far in and I got to passage where the mother is describing what she feels about her anxiety when she wakes up early in the morning. 

It moved me to say the least...because it is absolutely spot on to what it feels like to have that anxious feeling for no reason. 

Well here it is...

"Her heart is thundering in her chest. Anxiety. It is an ugly word. There is something about the x and y, the way it looks, the long i sound, nasal, whining. It is onomatopoetic. And yet the true feeling of anxiety, the oceanic magnitude, makes the word seem pitiful, inadequate. This panicked, galloping fear should have an entire dictionary dedicated to it, a bible."

I love that bit. 

Yikes-a-roo

Haven't blogged in a while. You know I don't even really consider it blogging cuz 'blogging' is usually fun to read and let's face it, I'm not fun to read.

Hmm...let's see...what can I talk about? See this is what I do, I go into writing without having anything planned. It's called improv. Roll with the punches.

Well I got a job, a job that is dead end but hey I'm gonna be grateful because (a) they hired me and (b) the owner is willing to give me time off to interview at others places and for therapy and auditions. So that's pretty awesome. It's just a part-time job cashiering at a car wash. Good people which I think makes a cashiering job that much easier to handle.

So I've been pretty much going to work, coming home, eating, showering and sleeping. But I have tomorrow off so I have time to sit here and write a bit and then watch a movie or something....and talk to my cousin on facebook.

It's so weird to hear her talk about her two kids, and how she goes to parent-teacher conferences as a parent. Weird because she's only 4 years older than me. And she has a 4 year old. Which means she had her first child at my age. I'm not saying this is a bad thing because I think she's an incredible mother and person for being able to handle a child at my age. Some people can do that. But it makes me think what if I was in that position. Having a kid? I'm not sure I could handle that. I'm not sure I would want to handle that more like. I guess I've always thought, if I did get pregnant I would be able to raise a child...even though I don't really want to...yet.

I think I had a dream about having kids last night because I have been thinking about that all day. Like what if I was just a completely different person that had a kid at 22.

Rambling is funnnn...I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. Like who am I as a person....what has made me what I am today? And although I hated growing up with an alcoholic father and I hate that he let a substance kill him...I wouldn't change my past for anything...because without all of that happening I wouldn't be who I am today, I wouldn't know the people I know.

I've also been pre-occupied with the image I'm giving to others. Because the image I see myself giving isn't the one I'm getting reactions to. I know that makes probably no sense. But basically, people talk to me about things and assume I'm this person that I don't see myself as being.

I think I need to stop worrying about what others want from me and try and figure out what I want from me. How I want to run my life, the kind of person I want to be...the kind of person I need to be.

It's a process but hopefully I'm taking steps in the right direction.



Ooooookay that was a blog ALL over the place. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and find some sort of little get-to-know-you survey I can put in here. It'll be a blast and a half.

Peace out girl scout.

Things I Love (Part DOS)

ROUND TWO! The little things in life that I couldn't live without. When Jessica posted all this she had great things that she loved and mine are going to RIDICULOUS but hey its what I love so to each their own. I love to many things. This is going to be a long list because as I was going through pictures I kept finding other things that I love.

1. My pets. I have 2 dogs and 2 cats and I love them alllll!

This is my dog Calypso! She's pretty much my life.

And her daddy, and my mom's dog really, Zeus

And Mouse. My love. She is seriously like my child. I did have a picture of her sleeping in my laundry basket but I didn't rotate it and I couldn't rotate it here so therefore I'm too lazy to fix it! Anyways....she's great!

Annnnd Misty, my first pet in Colorado! 

2. My white crochet-ed beanie cap thingy. It's lovely and I don't remember where I bought it but I love it and I'm very sad that its starting to stretch out and get dirty! Washing it doesn't do much! SADLY!

3. LOTION LOTION LOTION! I love lotion. So very very much. My two favorites are both from Bath and Body Works...and they tie for being my FAVORITE! One of them is Sweet Pea and the other is Wild Honeysuckle. Basically that's how I smell, ALL THE TIME! Lovely.

4. CHAPSTICK! You would not think this because I have the worst lips in the world. This is because my nervous habit is ripping the skin off my lips. But I love chapstick. I collect odd chapsticks. I have one from yankee candle that is shaped like a candle...and I have vitamin water chapstick called VITAMIN-SCHTICK! It amused me.

5. One of my more recent pieces of jewelry that I really love is the bracelet that Leihoku gave to me, from hawaii. She has always worn one and I always wanted one and she finally got me one during our senior year. 

It's just a simple little metal ring with three shells on it. Delicate and pretttyyyy!

6. My dad's medical dog-tag thing. It's very important to me, and I realized that wearing it actually could do more harm than good because if I get hurt and I can't speak for myself the paramedics will assume its mine and think I am allergic to penicillin. Which I'm not! So basically I just keep it as near me as I can, in my pocket, or in my purse. It's always there.

7. Bear hugs! Not actual hugs from bears, that'd be like things I HATE! Worst nightmare list. But very big hugs from ANYONE! Seriously I love hugs! I would go nutso without them.

8. Pepsi. I would literally wither away without pepsi. It is to me what coffee is to most other people. I tried to give it up because its not good for me but I couldn't do it. I went a month before giving in to its heavenly wonder.

9. The picture I took of Big Ben in London! So here's the story, London has a couple huge landmarks that one would take pictures of. One of those things is Big Ben. It's pretty huge and right outside of a tube station so people just stand around snapping pictures. Anyways I got a few from the obvious angles then as we were walking towards Westminster Abbey I wanted ONE MORE, because I am a crazy tourist. So I turned around and snapped a picture, then I realized I was taking the picture THROUGH a fence. Picture turned out amazing. I couldn't rotate the original on my computer right now so I'll show the ones I edited.

10. My eyes. It's the only part of myself that I'm confident in physically. Eyes are the windows to the soul, blah blah blah, but in my case its true, I can absolutely NOT hide my emotions because my eyes will give me away. I thank my dad for the lovely eye color.

11. Theatre. Oh Theatre! I can honestly say that even if I'm never an accomplished actress I will need to be in the theatre somehow. Theatre has given me the greatest people in my life. Everyone is so open and wow...words cannot describe. Theatre has allowed me to grow as a person and I believe it will continue to make me a better person.

12. Sex and the City. Hands down best T.V. show on earth. I feel like I know those four women personally. I could watch it all day everyday. My parents got me the box set a few years back for christmas and I peed in pure joy. I've watched every episode about 15 times. LOVE IT! I'm SOOOO excited for the second movie! YAY!

That was a whole lotta fun and relaxing. I can't wait to do more of these little things! <3

Things I Love (Part UNO)

 
Well I think its best if I split the things I love into two parts because somehow it seems inappropriate to put that I love lotion in the same entry that I talk about loving my family. So this will be the one that's like HEY I love my family and friends. And then the NEXT one will be about the little things in life that I love.

So here's my list of the big important things that I love in life, these are in no particular order! OH and get ready for a post with a LOT of pictures. I went through all my pictures to find the BEST ONES!

1. My best girlfriends (Madison and Leihoku) Stacey isn't included in this because she's more like family. Oh gosssshhhhh how I love my friends. Madison is probably one of the best people in the whole wide world and I had to be friends with a real BITCH to find her but it was worth it in the end cuz my wifey is the bestttttesssttt.

We do love our dangly earrings, because EVERYONE knows that dangly earrings get you YO SOULMATE! It's so hard to explain how much I love this girl, she's the LIGHT OF MY LIFE! So positive, I hope that someday I can be as positive as she is. 

Now on to my other bestest friend, my twin, my love, Leihoku. Oh man, I can't even believe she's my friend because looking at us we're pretty much opposites but she's the greatest. I won't ever forget going through the theatre with her. From freshman year, all the way till doing our senior thesis together, it was a journey that I will remember for the rest of my life. I cannot wait to move to L.A. with her so we can go be CRAZY RICH!

This is the first picture we ever took together. We have changed a lot but we grew together and only for the better.

This first show we were in was a LOT of fun! Much Ado About Nothing. She did a whole lotta singing, and I played a cop. Good times.

And here we are being models in London!

These two are far from my ONLY good girlfriends, but they are two who I think have changed me for the better and have made me the person I am today!

2. My Family! Oh my family, so important to me, I may act as if I hate them but I could NEVER! They are annoyingly wonderful and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I'm blessed to be so close to my mother and she chose a good man to join us as my step-dad. I've recently become very close to my cousin Theresa and now her husband and kids, I consider her a sister and her kids are like my niece and nephew. There is also Toni and her son Justin...they put up with me more than they should have. I lived with them in their small house for a whole summer while I was doing theatre. I am eternally grateful for the people that some higher power chose to give me as family.

Awww me and my mommy, ignore my dumb face, I told her to do a gangster look and apparently she is incapable. I love my mom even though sometimes she makes me want to go absolutely insane!

Of course there is Art. And this is the only picture that could possibly explain who he is. 

Theresa, and Riley and Jack...and Kevin of course but I don't have a picture of him other than the one of the family that's framed on my shelf. I'm so glad that Theresa and I became close because she's one of the strongest women I've ever met and I am glad to have her in my life to make me realize that even if you life doesn't turn out the way you had planned it can still be fantastic.

Toni and Justin! He's growing up so fast. It's crazy to be a part of his life since he was born and now to see him growing up that fast. Toni has put up with me through thick and thin and even though we don't talk as much as we used to its nice to know I can go to her with anything.

My real family is the greatest and like I said I couldn't ask for anything better.

3. My Pseudo Family: THE AEMMERS! Wow these people are fantastic. I have known Stacey for close to 10 years and her family has brought me in as one of their own. Stacey and Tyler are like the sister and brother I never had. Mommy and Daddy Aemmer are great and treat me as if I have been there all along (and yes I really do call them Mommy and Daddy Aemmer). When I'm older and wiser I will find someway to pay these people back for all they've done for me.

I love them with my whole heart! Look I fit right in, PALE PALE PALE. I can't believe Tyler's graduating in May, he's still a little runt in my mind. And Stacey, she's going to be a famous artist and I can say THATS MY BEST FRIEND BITCHES! 

I wish I could keep writing about all the people in my life that mean the world to me...how about I add some HONORABLE MENTIONS! That sounds so mean because anyone who is important to me I love with my whole heart. So basically if I talk to you on a regular basis you can assume that you make the list of things I love but I don't want to write pages and pages even though I could.

Weekend in the Fort

So this weekend I went up to Fort Collins because my cousin said she would pay me to watch her kids thursday night and during the weekend so she could see Alice in Wonderland at midnight then randomly do things during the weekend without having to worry about the kids. Well since I have no job, and I missed my friends in Fo Co I went up there. It was a pretty easy job to watch those kiddos considering most of the time I was in charge of them they were sleeping.

It really annoys me when my aunt assumes that just because I'm young means that I don't know how to take care of a child. For example, Theresa took Riley to school on friday and had to take Winny (their dog) with them because the class was learning about pets. So Theresa didn't want to have to wake up Jack and then worry about controlling a dog and a 1 year old while a bunch of pre-schoolers were excited. So I stayed at her house while Jack slept, then my Aunt Norma came over and when Jack woke up he immediately started screaming for his mama and thats normal so I just told him his mama would be home soon and he actually stopped screaming, kind of just started whining a bit. So I walk into the living room with him and my aunt says that he won't cry if she holds him, so of course I'm annoyed because she was all high and mighty so I hand him over and lo and behold he starts SCREAMING! Ugh. Thanks for ruining the quiet child.

Although being around that kids that much makes me realize that sometime in the future, after I marry my rich husband, that I do want to have a family. Just kidding about the rich husband part (or am I?) anyways YEAH.

I got to see my friends Madison, Sean, Shane and KIM! It was nice. I do miss my peoples. But at the same time every time I go to Fort Collins I remember the many reasons why I didn't like that town. The people are not the reason I hate it, mostly its the drivers and the loud people.

So I got home to a fridge stocked full of food, and my room was cleaned and Art had finally taken all of his golf shit out of my closet so there's more room...

Oscars are on tonight...but I haven't seen any of the nominated movies so I'll just watch highlights online tomorrow. This is odd for me because I am usually an avid awards show watcher. But I kind of feel like just sitting here in sweats, watching some Sex and the City and doing the blogs about what I love. Maybe that'll make me feel better!

Random post, the next one will maybe be more clever! MAYBE!

Waxing Nostalgic

First off, big thanks to Jessica for recommending the title "Aull About Nothing" as the title of my blog. Man I'm still laughing, that shit is clever. Cuz my last name is Aull...and I write about nothing. GET IT?! DO YA?! ohhhhh welcome to the land of the easily amused.

Soooo...on to my OH SO INTERESTING STORY. And my OH SO PETTY REACTION. Night. Interior. (sorry I'm in a weird mood) I go into the computer room where my step-dad has just put the dogs in their kennels. OH WAIT! Let me preface this by saying my step dad is obsessed with candles, we have like 8 in the living room and then one in every other room. He puts them on top of shelves and like hides them in plants (oh you think I'm kidding...I'm not, this shit is real) anyways they all smell like black cherry meaning their wax is dark red (this is important I swear) Also let me explain the computer room desk to you, its one of those multilayer corner desks...as seen below.

So this desk is in the corner and the candle is right above where the computer monitor is...along with an old school desk lamp. Well the pully-string for the desk lamp broke off so you have to just screw in the light bulb to turn it on and screw out the light bulb to turn it off. 

OKAY that's the background infooooo...now on to the ACTION! So I go into the computer room to ask Art if he has any advil because my uterus is trying to escape from my body. He says "Yea hold on" turns off the light and then we both hear something fall into the chair and kind of splatter. Then it clicks...he just knocked over a candle...that's been burning for quite some time. So we turn on the light and there is wax everywhere. I'm talking on the monitor...the mouse...the desk...the chair...the keyboard...the carpet. The shit is dark red...like blood...and smells...like black cherry so at least the room now has a pleasant scent. So he starts ranting and raving and rips the keyboard out of the way and like turns it upsidedown...its already COVERED in wax so that was a dumb move. I of course go straight for the monitor to get the wax off there. While Art stands around staring at me. 

Now here's a little quiz...who knocked the candle over? Was it me? No I didn't think so. So why am I the one cleaning the shit up while he just stands there....?

And then its gets worse. He walks OUT OF THE ROOM. Comes back with paper towels. For wax...yeah thats gonna get us far. Then he yells at the dogs because his reasoning is that because the only reason he was in that room was to put the dogs away is that it is their fault. Yeah because two little weiner dogs jumped up about 5 feet to knock over a candle. Yup, thats totally what happened. Then my mom has been trying to call this WHOLE time to get one of us to pick her up at work....so of course that's MY job. So I say fine I'll go get her, hey at least it gets me out of cleaning up dark red wax.

So I go get my mom and come back and Art is SITTING ON THE COUCH WATCHING HBO! But then I think, hey he said he'd pay my bill this month so I'll go clean up the wax. I clean the wax. Hook up a new keyboard and mouse. Then I go into the living room to say 'hey I am done with this' and he comes and INSPECTS IT! 

Man I was pissedddddd. I can't even tell you how pissed. I still am a little pissed. 

Anyways moral of the story...candles suck balls.